Evil GOP Bastards

A Farewell Letter
to George W. Bush
by Jack Hughes
There's one last chance for redemption for George W. Bush

Dear George,

By now you've seen the unbridled jubilation of not just the American people but of the entire world to see the end of your presidency. I'm sure it must be a cause of some sadness and wistfulness for you to see Barack Obama universally acclaimed as a symbol of hope and American renewal while your approval ratings plunge lower than Richard Nixon's.

As the Bush administration comes to a close and the Obama era is set to begin, surely you've reflected on as to how you've come to this moment in history -- forever branded as "the worst president ever."

It didn't have to be that way. You knew you were operating at a disadvantage: you just weren't that smart. But while others not blessed with intellectual keenness could overcome that handicap by acknowledging their own weaknesses with humility by seeking the counsel of those wiser than themselves -- you were cocky (that smirk was always a dead giveaway).

You could schmooze and joke and glad-hand the rubes with natural ease. And you were always quick with the nicknames. People liked you. Running for, and later serving as, governor of Texas was fun. There was always Bob Bullock there to do the heavy lifting if anything important needed to be done. Why would being president of the United States be any different? It would be a chance to show your mom and dad that you weren't just a fuck-up -- and you could, for once, outshine your brother Jeb in their eyes.

Well, you learned on September 11, 2001, just how different it could be. But instead of taking the job seriously, the job became even more about you. God had obviously selected you to save the world and punish the "evil-doers." That is, when you could be bothered to read an intelligence briefing or be distracted from your daily exercise routine.

Since you were lazy and not that smart, you were easily convinced by the "smart guys" and the "legal experts" that constitutional and legal constraints really didn't apply to a "war president." You were a "unitary executive." It wasn't hard for them to convince you that you could ignore laws against torture, the Geneva Conventions, prohibitions against spying on US citizens and even throwing Americans into dungeons without any sort of judicial review.

As your original autobiography's ghostwriter, Mickey Herskowitz, revealed, you were intent on fighting a war before you were even elected to ensure yourself a "successful" presidency. You considered the 9/11 attacks an opportunity, not a tragedy. Our continuing waste of blood and treasure in Iraq stems directly from your personal ambitions -- not national security. You wanted glory but got disaster.

Meanwhile, just as you were asleep at the switch despite all the warnings of the impending terrorist attack that struck on 9/11, you also looked the other way -- or were actually complicit -- as your Republican cronies were busy looting the economy and the US Treasury of trillions
of dollars like some Third World kleptocracy. Our grandchildren will be paying the bill for your economic malfeasance.

All of your incompetence, the illegalities of your actions, your contempt for the Constitution you swore to protect and defend and your utter disregard for the general welfare of the People has led you to this point in history; justifiably reviled worldwide -- not least by your own countrymen on whom you have inflicted so much damage.

As you watch the excitement and joy at the inauguration of the Obama administration, surely it must cause even you to reflect upon what might have been had you been a better, wiser man more concerned with the well-being of your country rather than personal aggrandizement.

No doubt the papers are already drafted and awaiting your signature to issue blanket pardons to all persons -- includ- bing yourself -- even peripherally associated with your presidency. Does it strike you as odd that such blanket pardons are necessary -- that such levels of illegality and criminality have tainted your administration?

Perhaps it's not too late for some form of redemption. Consider this: You were not such a bad person. The advice you received led you astray -- starting with Dick Cheney's self-selection as vice-president. The "smart guys" like Cheney, Wolfowitz, Perle, Addington, Yoo, etc., are the ones responsible for the sham-
eful disgrace that your presiden-
cy became. Why should they be pardoned?

Just pardon yourself and let those guys face the music. Why should you protect them? They ruined you and stained your place in history.

And there's still hope for you, George. After your retirement from public life, there's still a vital public service that you can offer your country that can lead to your redemption and perhaps salve your guilty conscience (assuming you're capable of having one). You can write a book confessing how you fooled the rubes into voting against their own interests; how you stole the 2004 election; how you hijacked the US government and made it into a virtual dictatorship; and how the corporate news media rolled over for you -- at least when it mattered. These are critically important lessons that Americans must learn so that these things can never happen again.

The rubes, your "base," must hear it from you, otherwise they'll believe the truth is just "liberal bias."

Confession is said to be good for the soul. Your public confession would also be good for the soul of our nation. And not insignifi-
cantly, it's your last final chance to truly serve the country you've often professed to love.